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Rich Lafferty's Journal

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How To Care For Introverts
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ETA: Also, Caring For Your Introvert.

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I have to say, I find this list extremely condescending. I mean, if it's a parent who is an extrovert, having a hard time understanding their under-age-13 child, sure.

But otherwise, it really sums up to "respect the other person". And the "encourage this relationship" could possibly be made less offensive with "provide support when they want to see that person and respect that relationship".

otherwise, it really sums up to "respect the other person".

I disagree. At least, assuming that people aren't telepathic and don't automatically know what will make someone else feel good or bad and will, occasionally, have to be told so a bit more explicitly. Then, lists like that can be good.

Also, I think people tend to project themselves onto others, and it may not be obvious to them that what they can cope with easily may cause others distress.

Case in point, the interruption thing - if I'm in the middle of something, I'd prefer someone to signal their intention to speak with me, allowing me to disengage from what I'm doing in a controlled manner (e.g. finishing the paragraph I'm working on) than simply butting in, while others seem to have an easier time of multi-tasking/task-switching so it might never occur to them that a question can be disruptive.

That 15-minute thing was a total "Aha!" for me.

I really liked that one, too.

A related one, which I probably read on a geek-related web site (possibly the Jargon File), was about signalling your presence and intention to speak to someone rather than immediately saying something; the page said that someone in hack mode might acknowledge the presence briefly (e.g. by raising their hand) but appreciate the ability to finish their train of thought (or at least commit it to paper/text so they can pick it up again later) before they task-switch.

I wish Stella would do that kind of thing more, since it takes me quite a while to task-switch back to what I was doing before.

Heh, that's funny, because there's one guy at FreshBooks who is infamous for hovering -- he just comes by and stands there and you have no choice but to interrupt what you're doing, but he acts as though he didn't interrupt you because you did the interrupting yourself.

There's a happy medium, I think.

I took it as a parody, actually. With the last paragraph you wrote here being the exact point of whoever wrote it. ;-)

Edited at 2009-10-01 01:26 am (UTC)

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